I Don't Want It, I Dread It

June 16th we go down to the hospital for Nicky to have the screw and staple removed from the one foot while the other will have an arch built, tendon shortened and a ligament lengthened. I can't postpone it again.... He's excited, he likes attention, but he's forgotten the pain. I'm scared. These are the times I hate being alone. He'll be stuck in a wheel chair for a long time, it's going to be rough, and I cannot lift or I risk ripping my abs even worse.... Everything seems so big right now. I'm broke, that doctor said those horrible things, and Nicky has his surgery. Crud.